April 5, 2019: Wisdom
I would love to tell you that I was the baddest dude around growing up. I’d love to tell you that no one was ever fool enough to mess with me. I’d love to tell you that I ran my town and called my own shots and that I won every fight I’ve ever been in.
But the truth is, I have never been in a fight. I have, however, been punched in the mouth.
“Everybody’s got a plan until they get punched in the mouth.”
-Mike Tyson
My friend Buck and I were minding our own business at the local McDonalds when a jacked-up four-wheel drive fully loaded with “goat ropers” (Southern Illinois group of friends who like boots, country music, and chewing tobacco, typically) pulled in nearby. A mother and her young daughter were within earshot as they exited their square body Chevy, hooping, hollering, and cursing up a storm.
Self righteous as I was, I told them to knock it off as Buck and I got into my truck. Proud of myself, I had just policed the standards of decency in my hometown and protected a little girl from hearing obscenities in the process. I didn’t think anything of it.
We cruised town for a while and eventually ended up at a friend and co-worker’s house–Jason.
We were probably there for a half an hour when Jason came over to me and shared the news.
“We’ve got a problem. There are some guys out front that want to talk to you,” he said.
I had no idea who or why. Naively, I strode to the front door.
Now the rest of the details are a little hazy from there. Maybe it was a concussion. Maybe my mind just doesn’t want to pull up the details of that night and has decided to protect me from the specifics. I DO recall that same truck we had seen at McDonalds and one of them was leaning against it straight ahead yelling something at me. It still didn’t register what was happening–let alone that I might be in danger.
As I continued walking toward the truck, suddenly a smallish, wiry dude came at me swinging. It was kind of like Jurassic Park’s description of the way raptors feed…a decoy up front distracts you as another comes up on your flank and surprises you. And I had fallen for it. The pack hunter from the side landed a cross squarely on my jaw and I heard an audible “crack.”
“What in the actual…”
I was stunned. Disoriented. My jaw kind of hurt.
And in response? I did literally NOTHING.
I had been jumped by a cowboy with beer on his breath and a fight on his agenda.
My friends quickly jumped in to de-escalate the situation as I struggled to figure out what in the heck just happened. Not one more punch was thrown, but my face was bruised and my dignity was taken.
I drove home angry. Why had I froze? My sister still lives nearby where the whole thing went down, and to this day some 25 years later I can’t drive by that spot without the shame and regret I felt for not standing up for myself bubbling right up into my consciousness.
Some dude I can’t even remember the name of got the best of me that night, and I straight up quit. I’ll never know if I would have taken or given a beating. I didn’t lift and had never been in a fight, so I’m pretty sure he’d have taken me easily.
But honestly, I’m pretty sure the not knowing all these years later is worse than if I had just been whipped.
Now don’t get me wrong…I’m not trying to condone violence. But as I’ve tried to tell my son…don’t pick a fight. But if the fight comes to you, a man has to defend himself.
Sometimes when I’m pushing myself to my limits physically, I picture that night in my mind. And while I can’t go back in time to stand my ground, if the fight comes to me again, I want to know that what I did today helped me to be ready for that tomorrow.
Better. Every. Day.
Level up!
Wisdom
- Read Chapter 1 in Travis Bradberry & Jeanne Greaves Emotional Intelligence 2.0
- Writing/creativity x 1 hour
Stature
- Resistance training
- Barbell shoulder press 7 x 5
- Deadlift 3 x 8
- TRX hamsting pull-in 5 x 12
- Bird dog 3 x 17
- Scissor kick 3 x 19
Favor with God
- Started Neil Kennedy’s “Foundations of Biblical Manhood” course. Completed lesson 1.
Favor with Man
- Movies with the family to celebrate Taye’s birthday