It’s been a hard, humbling week. Have you ever been expecting good things only to receive just the opposite? Once when I was 16, I had worked for a local business who issued me a 1099 form for self-employed instead of a typical W-2 I probably should have received as an employee. I filled out my 1040-EZ myself—albeit somewhat confused that some questions or boxes didn’t seem to make sense. I submitted it to the IRS and anxiously awaited what I thought would be my tax return.
When I finally got the envelope in the mail, I excitedly tore it open expecting a check.
Only instead, there was no check but rather a letter explaining that I had filled out the form wrong and I actually owed the government money.
Instead of a check, I got a bill.
I nearly cried, as I had been counting on that money as I impatiently waited for weeks.
This week was a similar experience. Without going into detail, I had expected to get the first of a series of good news any day for over a month. Instead, I eagerly opened an email that was exactly the contrary.
Instead of a “welcome” or “great job,” I got a “no thanks.”
If you have ever been in a fight or boxed, you know that it is far easier to weather the blow that you expect and have braced for than it is to take a body shot when you weren’t prepared for it.
I wasn’t prepared for it. I read in disbelief, breathless and stunned.
I stared at the simple words as the reality settled on me. I’m sure they were crafted without malice, but they cut me to my very core.
I drove home in silence wondering where I had gone wrong. Had I mis-stepped somewhere? Was I not as qualified or ready as I thought I was? Sure, I was upset that things hadn’t gone my way. But more than that I was confused as to how I could have been so off base with my expectations.
It’s been said that there is usually purpose in pain if we would only look for it. So I looked. What WAS my purpose? I’ve spent the past five years drilling down on that very question while also doing my best to define the values I want to define my every interaction. I’ve failed more times than I care to recount, but as I headed south toward home I was struck with a thought:
“You still don’t know your purpose.”
If you had asked me yesterday what my purpose was, I would have responded promptly with a rehearsed and well-intentioned answer: “My purpose is to help every person within my sphere of influence become the best version of themselves that they can be.”
A little wordy. But honorable enough, no?
I continued driving and considering my first question when I admitted the truth: that wasn’t good enough. It was too convoluted. Too vague. Too “so what?”
I needed clarity. I needed to start over. So I asked again.
“What’s your purpose? Why are you here? What do you aspire to do or be?”
To make things better. To build. To leave anything I touch better than I found it. To infuse light in a dark world.
To make people better. To cultivate growth. To be strategic in purpose and relentless in pursuit of improvement. To inspire new levels in those with unfulfilled potential (which—for the record—is every single one of us).
To make the world better. To inspire, empower, and equip in the name of growth. To improve lives in any way I can.
It was a sobering but necessary process that helped me get some much-needed clarity on why I really believe I am here. I believe that without getting strategic in purpose, it doesn’t matter how relentless we are in pursuit—because we don’t really understand what we are pursuing.
Pain with a purpose shouldn’t be avoided. It should be celebrated.
So today I applauded. So what if I got a bill instead of a check? It’s a temporary setback that has helped me recalibrate my course. I will serve. I will persist. And I will prevail in living out my assignment—to infuse light, to inspire new levels, and to improve lives—whenever, wherever, and however I get the opportunity.
Be encouraged and chase better today!
#bettereveryday #relentlesspursuit #mevsme